Showing posts with label I'm not perfect.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I'm not perfect.. Show all posts

Sunday, January 9, 2011

It could happen at any time...

Before I was a parent I used to be judgmental to other parents when I saw them in public with there kids. I always told myself I would never let me kid do that, say that, or let anything happen to my kids.

Let them run around the store
Screaming @ a restaurant
Yell at a infant or toddler for crying or being loud
Discipline in public

When you become a parent and have a child of your own everything changes. It changed for me. I'm guilty and I have guilt. I have too let my kid run around the store and I'm chasing her around just to get her back in the cart. I'm also guilty of my kid throwing a fit in a store and me picking her up and telling her to "stop it" or " we do NOT act that way in a store." I've been there before and my mom of the year award has been taking away from me.

Where am I going with this.....

Today, I took my daughter to the movies. We were leaving the theater and I carried her part of the way. She asked me if she could walk. I put her down and told her she needs to hold mommy's hand in the parking lot. I held her hand until we reached the car. I let go of her hand to open the car door to get her into the seat. She moved to the front of the car. I asked that she please come to me so we can get into the car. I said we were going to get something to eat... so let's go and get in the car. She moved in front of the car next to us. I walked over to her and told her that we don't play in a parking lot, it's not safe. Before I knew it she took off laughing straight for the street around the car next to us. I ran after to her. All of a sudden there was a car driving through the lot, pretty fast. I couldn't react fast enough, I miss her hood. I panicked and grabbed the back of her hair. I pulled back on her as hard as I could. She literally missed the car by seconds.

Yes, my little girl was almost hit by a car. I Immediately screamed at her. "Don't you ever do that again!" "We don't run in the parking lot." She was scared more than anything. Not to mention I hurt her a little by grabbing her hair to stop her. I was so shocked and sacred, I yelled at her until she cried and said "you hurt me!" I looked into her wet and teary eyes and all I could think of to say was, "Mommy is sorry!"

This is any parents worst fears. Their child getting hit by a car. I just remember thinking what kind of mother could let that almost happen. Why didn't I keep holding her hand until I had the car door open.

Then I thought... this shit just happens. It happens. You pray to god that nothing ever happens to your little girl or boy, but you just think.. it could happen to anyone at any time. It happened to me. It scared the shit out of me and my little girl, but again she was fine and nothing happened.

I talked to her in the car on the way to get lunch and apologized for hurting her and explained why we don't play in the parking lot. I saw the tears still on her face and I looked back at her in the rear view mirror and said, "I'm sorry! It's my fault, I shouldn't have let that happen. I said I love you!" She replied, "I love you!"

I'm not the mom of the year. I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. Things happen.

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